moody.

the world just got put into a new whirlpool. this whirlpool occurs once in a while. more often lately.

what it does best is to wipe out the human race and whatever we hold dear to.

japan. earthquake. tsunami. wipe out.

then there’s the effects of a nuclear leak.

great! faster way to wipe us out.

USUALLY.

i’m not affected. i’m not even afraid. cos i know all these happens for a reason. and i know God is with me.

but lately…. i don’t know what got into me.

mood swings. negativity. everything seems dead to me.

i begin to think life is cruel. why were we made to go through things? why do we find love and in the end lose it? why were we born into this world and in the end to leave?

stupid thoughts i would say. but yes, my mind has been clouded with thoughts as such.

looking at deaths after deaths after deaths haven’t helped to cushion that foreboding feeling any bit.

i miss the two most wonderful women in my life. ah mah and popo. can i join u soon?

yadadadada. my actions reverberate louder than my words.

“some of you, your actions are so loud i can’t hear your words anymore.”

yes, that’s me. i speak of good days, i speak of positivity, i speak of success, i speak of fear.

but what am i, who am i, how am i?

I AM AN EMOTIONAL FREAK. I BREAK AT THE SLIGHTEST GUST OF WIND. I SWAY BEFORE THE RAIN HITS ME.

Lord, come and pick me up again. Heal my broken heart. Soften my hardened heart. I NEED YOU… to get me out of this mess I am in.

Know what’s funny? This mess….. is created by me.