bored phuck

today, i was bored at the office… and i am proud to say i read EVERY SINGLE PIECE OF NEWS on channel news asia. and i surfed on various sites… and there’s this very interesting site i would like to share with everyone: http://www.interestingfacts.org

below are some of the excerpts from the site:

Do u know that Picasso’s full name is actually "Pablo Diego José Francisco de Paula Juan Nepomuceno María de los Remedios Cipriano de la Santísima Trinidad Martyr Patricio Clito Ruíz y Picasso"

In Wales (country that is part of the United Kingdom), there is a village called Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch (58 letters), which in English means "Saint Mary’s Church in the hollow of white hazel near a rapid whirlpool and the Church of Saint Tysilio near the red cave." The locals call it Llanfairpwll. Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch.com is the longest single word .com domain name in the world.

The word "testis" cames from the Latin meaning to bear witness. In ancient Rome, only men could bear witness or testify in a public forum. In order to show importance to their testimony, they would hold their testicles as they spoke, and an oath was declared while holding another’s testicles.

If you ever swim in the Amazon and Oranoco Rivers of South America please think twice before urinating in the water. Fish called Candiru or Carnero is attracted by urine smell (urea and ammonia) and it can insert it self into the penis or vagina while urinating. Then penis fish lodges itself somewhere in the urinary tract with its spines and it uses its mouth for feeding by sucking the blood. It is almost impossible for fish to survive inside of the human body. Removal of the fish is extremely hard due to the spines and if problem is not treated it can result in removal of the genitals. *ouch*

Did you know that the average chocolate bar in the U.S. contains at least 8 pieces of an insect in it? Harvesting of the cacao beans occurs in the tropical countries of South America with low sanitation levels. Cacao tree beans are cut and piled in the farmer’s field where they ferment for 6 days. During this process, children and adults walk over the piles; insects, rodents, small animals and other living things that make their nests in the piles. Actually the The U. S. Department of Health publishes a book entitled "The Food Defect Action Levels" in which they list unavoidable defects in food (insect, rodents etc.) all allowed by FDA.

have fun reading 😛

saturday: 2500 cals!!!

OMG. I just weighed myself. #%$&!!@# GAINED 2 KILOS!!!! Blistering barnacles!!!!! DAMMIT! 

It could really be the night of partying on Saturday after all! I was calculating the amount of calories I might have consumed (on an upper scale, just to be extra terrified):

– 420g vodka: 970 cals

– 2 cans of red bull: 230 cals 

– 1 pint of beer: 150 cals

– 1 McSpicy Burger: 580 cals

– 1 Chef Salad: 210 cals

– 1 Plate Economic Rice: 350 cals

TOTAL CALORIC INTAKE FOR SATURDAY, 13 JUNE 2009: 

FUCKING 2490 CALORIES!!!!!

finding faith

today was the second time i went to church. it’s weird that i always cry during service. it’s like out of a sudden, when they are singing praises or when the pastor talks about God that i would tear. At times i really felt like sobbing. I feel that i’m slowly coming to accept Him. However, I’m not ready for Him yet. I’m not ready to be a Christian. A part of me is still very Buddhist and at times I do question the existence of God. Both Gods. It seems to me that both have touched my lives and I believe both exist. Though in a Christian’s point of view a diety might be a devil, I don’t know.

 

I remember last week, my first service after so many years, I was in the church and people were singing praises of God. "I love you God, God is the greatest" and so on.. though i was standing up, joining the crowd, and as I mouthed those words, I asked myself, " Why must we keep telling a God that we love him? Isn’t he suppose to love us? Why must we love him?" I still don’t know the answer. Perhaps if I come to know the answer then that will be the time I will take this faith as my only faith. Then at times I look at the whole church. Thousands of people and it seems like their heart beats as one – for Christ. I mean it seems like… I’m not sure in reality what it really is. You can sense their love, their passion, their garang-ness for this God which has no form, only presence. I have begun to see the bonding of christianity and not just the one-sided outsider impression of Christians. In the past, I have met several christians that would say, "You don’t believe in God then u’re going straight to hell" But now, I think these are the minority. (Sadly, one of my relatives belongs to a church which teaches in such a manner. My mum had health problems, and she went to take a look at her church. So the pastor said "those who want to be healed, come forth". But there was a catch : If you want to be healed, BAPTISE. ) Really, is this right? I don’t know… but it jsut doesn’t seem so to me. If you want to spread the word of God and to use Christianity to reach out to people who aren’t christians, this SURELY isn’t the right way.

 

Then today I heard a testimony from an artiste who was very very Buddhist. She was a devout one. VERY DEVOUT. "gui yi", they call it. So even if an adamant person like her who was so strong in Buddhism can drop her faith, then there surely is a real God.

 

Oh well… I hope something miraculous happens for me to make me believe such a God exists.

 

Tomorrow is my first day of work. Don’t know what to feel.. I just hope I’ll get a permanent job from there.

sorrow

“Love is when you shed a tear and still want him, it’s when he ignores you and you still love him, it’s when he loves another girl but you still smile and say I’m happy for you, when all you really do is cry.”

 

though it’s been so long.. i can never completely forget him. it’s just too difficult to just say "okay, i give up, just like what you want me to do" and continue acting like a happy girl. sorry, i can’t.

 

all along i’ve been trying to be strong, thinking i don’t love you anymore. but i really do… and i still do. till this day.

 

even when it is very clearly made known to me that you love her very very much and that i, or anybody else, can never replace her…. i still can’t fight my feelings for you.

 

and with this final chapter of you and i…. i really regretted loving you.

 

when i tried ways and means to let u go, u kept coming back to me – and i couldn’t say no. keep the love alive, love bravely. face all odds. but no… that wasn’t what happened. what happened only allowed me to see through your heart. and each time what i see tells me i don’t ocupy even a 5% in your heart.

 

i guess i just have to face the fact and keep moving on.

 

but it’s difficult. i have been trying for so long. i haven’t been able to do it…. all i do, is cry.

going back….

for a month and 2 weeks….

 

i don’t know what to feel. one part of me is happy that i’m going back where i can see my two besties at work. the other part of me isn’t sure if this is a right choice. though it’s just a temp job… i fear i might miss the financial year and job opportunities. yet… i need money. i’m broke.

 

sometimes i don’t wanna find a job, don’t wanna go to work.. is because i’m enjoying too much now. at times i think that if i go to work i wouldn’t have time to go swimming nor spend time with dia. but then i can’t possible NOT WORK at all rite….

 

SIAN.

 

maybe i should be an insurance agent or property agent then i can arrange my own time.

 

how how??? perplexed.

 

people often tell me i can be successful in life. but i don’t see any of that coming my way. in fact in poly days, i used to think i’d be successful. but now…. it’s a totally different thing. i get the feeling that i’m really lazy and stupid. a few people have asked me "how come the more you study the more dumb u become?" SIGH. i wanna be rich, i wanna be successful!!! and i wanna prove those who look down on me WRONG. and…. those that criticize me are those that i don’t think they would be successful. very bad… never look down on someone. NEVER. dia is up there, yet she DOES NOT EVER look down on people…. i luv u dia.

 

dia = diamond. and something else. something more than a diamond 🙂