a day older

ha! birthday was gone – just like that. actually sometimes i wonder why do i get so affected about birthdays? it’s just another day. but it adds an index to your age. haha… welcome to the age race. but teng says she’ll always be in front of me. hee.. it’s a race nobody wants to compete in.

 

but though i’m still young, i think my body is already acting like that of a 40 year old. i can even pant when climbing DOWN the stairs. fats are clogging my heart, my arteries.. oh my god.

 

than’s sis says i’m allowing myself to be like that cos i don’t love myself. i guess i’ve been thinking in another angle. i keep thinking i love myself, that’s why i don’t allow myself to go through hardship. but when i thought over her words, i think she’s right! by doing this to myself, i’m actually causing discomfort to my body. my body certainly don’t want to be handled this way. look at how i look my body work. i feed it till it’s at its brim.. and make it feel bloated for the next 2 days, then i try to eat a lot of fibre and make it shit out everything. then i start again. i think it’s harming my body… and i never realised it. sorry body… i only cared about my brain, not the other vital organs.

 

haha..

 

this year, i celebrated my birthday with new friends – not new, but friends that i never thought i’d celebrate my birthday with. i didn’t get to celebrate with my band juniors – which was a custom every year, and with bird. but i understand.. everyone is busy… and anyway, it’s just a birthday! less cakes only. haha…

 

i received birthday wishes from many people, some of whom i didn’t expect would send me wishes. and the most guilty thing is… some of these people, i don’t even remember when their birthdays are…. bad hor?

 

nice start to the birthday. i got drenched in the rain. and that’s where chris’ "have a cool birthday" really applies.

 

yesterday was fun, went dinner with tan, angie and tiong then went to lyd’s shop to cut the cake. nice… cutting a cake in bugis street with millions of colors in the background because of the tshirts. haha… i miss lydia. she’s like a big sister to me. luv u, lydia

 

sucks

it totally sucks when your pre-menstrual blues clashes with your birthday.

 

you get fucking agitated for no reason when u’re suppose to be happy.

miss those guys!!!

 

you guys rock!!!! i wish we were still working together 😦 *sob*

 

why??? update in a while 😛

i need to pause

it finally dawned on me that, i really do need to slow down my steps in enjoying my holidays. i’ve been going home late every night.. not because of work only, but also because i tend to go out after work. when i reach home, dad is asleep, mum is half asleep, popo is also asleep. i reach home, i hug my dog, give her a little kiss and shortly later, mum and i would go up and we both retreat into our own rooms. i turn on the computer, and start chatting or read a book until i fall asleep. brand new day, same thing happens.

 

and everyday, i just feel so tired at work.

 

then this morning, i was just chatting to my younger aunt. tomorrow, popo’s medical results will be out. i hope nothing’s gonna happen. i hope it’s an all clear. recently, she’s been spending her time napping and she looks really tired. could it just be age that makes her look so tired suddenly? i certainly hope it’s only that. so anyway… she asked me something very provocative. she asked how much time have i spent with popo.

 

i couldn’t think of an answer.

 

i hardly see her anymore, ever since i started work.

 

and have i ever brought her out?

 

never.

 

damn then, i think i should really start caring about my family instead of spending all my time with friends

 

cos after all…. humans are imperfect. and they will always fail u. it’s just a matter of time.

 

and friends, are humans…. they’ll definitely fail you. what are u? u’re just a friend. family is different. they might fail you, but they’ll always remember little parts of you. and they’ll always help u without conditions.

 

what’s best, is you don’t have to work hard to keep a family relationship going. it’ll always b there. even if you are notorious, they will always forgive you and hope u change for the better. but friends? they only see the worst in you.  might be wrong to say that… but i’ve always tried to work hard to keep a friendship going. but after a while, u find that no matter how hard you work, it just doesn’t seem right… cos the other party’s not responding, or she cares shit about this friendship. then…. what friendship is it when u need to keep working hard at it?

 

i finally realised.

 

i should really spend more time with my fam. time must be running out cos i can see it in their physical changes and their habits already.

weekend was a blast!

well just be prepared.. this is so gonna be a boring post. no opinions, just lots of description. just like "today, i woke up, had tea, went to the market, went home to sleep".

 

okay, so friday ended pretty well… rushed off to san’s 21st birthday party after work. and i still had a pile of work left undone. *gulp* i see days of OT ahead! shucks. so… san’s birthday party, i was really hungry. kept asking her to bring me food.. lol sorry babe…. hee… hope u liked ur bag. after that, went to yishun dam with xy, xh and wq… chatted a bit and we saw our junior, russel! he’s become a fine young man. from fat to fit.. and handsome! *slurp slurp* lol… he really reminds me of a weiping… he looks so much like her. except now she’s manly. sob sob… i miss the pretty you..

 

moving on to saturday. 5af 0fficer’s wives club. it’s really amazing where our taxes go to. lol… i was helping my friend there. she set up a jewelry booth, trying to create awareness among these ladies… then there was this woman. really plain looking who doesn’t wear any jewellery pieces comes to talk to us about jewellery.. the hardness of the gems and so on. then we asked her why not get one? she said… u realise i don’t wear any accessories? i’m not into such stuff. "oh, but u seem to know a lot".. "well yeah.. i’m a scientist."

 

AWESOME.

 

the rest of the ladies.. some of them are really QUITE HOT. and some, really CRAZY. haha fun people. and we got to watch, or at least hear the Mus1c and danc3 c0mpany perform. it was the acapella group… and they had the famous beatboxer with them. i think he’s currently serving his ns.. oh boy, first time i see him up close. he’s really COOL! NICE! wow.. hearing him do his stuff… my hair really stood on ends. sweet! young boy. haha..

 

evening, went out with milz. i luv milz. she tempted me to get a ds lite. and now i’m like so tempted to get a cutie-pie stylus. lol.. went to this bargain store too where things are sold way below market price. cool… hello panda for 80 cents. TIM TAMS for 1.20!!! woww… then after that went back to her place to play multiplayer games with her. the funniest thing was, just 5 steps away was her sony wii.. and we were busy playing nds. how lame… but it was fun… and tiring. slept at 4.30am.

 

alright.. we’ve come to the end of my blasting weekends. should i work tues to sat instead of mon to fri?

 xavier’s full month

 

 spermy.. turtle

 

 navy goodie bag

 

 collectibles. now i know where to get plastic!

 

 no flash

 

trembling

urgh. for once!!! i feel so angry about the person sitting opposite me.

 

so BU ZI DONG!!!!

 

i’ve always thought this person was a nice guy. soft spoken…….. FULL STOP?!

 

works slower than me yet getting 1.5 times my pay. if u were to ask me to describe why i dislike him so much, i believe i can write a composition. it’s not that he’s mean or not.. he’s just……………… too slow. and as if he doesn’t give a damn about anything.

 

okay some instances. he says he’s got 10 years experience. yet when he did this task, he was spending a week at it already.. and i offered to help him at the command of my boss.. and viola. i found out how to do it in 15 mins and I CANNOT UNDERSTAND WHY HE HAS TO TAKE A FURTHER 3 MORE DAYS TO COMPLETE IT WHEN U CAN ACTUALLY COMPLETE IT IN A COUPLE OF HOURS!!!!

 

then, flash animation. how difficult is it to put keyframes and animate A FADE OUT from picture to picture? HOW MANY HOURS DO U NEED? huh? okay, HE TOOK FIVE FREAKING HOURS ON A FLASH ANIMATION.

 

then now he says "can i just put my hands up and surrender about this InDesign thing? i have no clue"

 

sorry mate, "I SURRENDER" is not in the madam’s dictionary. DO U KNOW I HAVE TO KEEP COVERING UR ASS EVERYTIME U WORK SO SLOW?

 

i’m slow to someone else’s eyes.he’s slow to my eyes. that means he’s fucking slow!

 

okay.. THIS IS THE LAST STRAW AS TO WHY I’M NEAR EXPLOSION.

 

HE TMD ATE MY BREAD AND BISCUITS!

at first i didn’t really bother… first time, i bought banana walnut bread. ATE IT IN 3 DAYS. second time, not so rich, so i bought raisin loaf. lasted for 2 days. but that’s because i was eating too. never mind.. after that, i decided i should stop buying since i should cut carbs. know what? HE DIDN’T TAKE THE INITIATIVE TO BUY TOO. instead, he waited, i waited… and finally, i bought. i bought biscuits and PLAIN WHITE BREAD. tmd lor… eat my bread. nvm, anyway the bread is for him. 2 days already eaten 2/3. then my biscuit. nb.. until now i’ve only eatenone packet.. and he eats 3 packets a day.

 

and i can’t just tell him.. "hey, can u don’t eat so much of my biscuits?" right?

 

i think next time i should just hide my biscuits in my drawer.

 

-_-"

 

finally

ah huh… finally, after waiting for a month, the volcano has erupted and the monster has emerged. i got a taste of it just 15 minutes ago… not that i didn’t expect it. i was always waiting for the time when she’ll explode – she’s been controlling for a long time! and shit, i couldn’t take it. i was boiling. now i’m simmering of course. but i was trembling with anger inside… i don’t know why. just goes on and on and on like a broken record. plus, radiation + pple speaking in shrill voices over the phone can really screw any calm person up.

 

the holidays has ended. ahhhhhh

giddy with excitement

and this is an excitement that leads to nothing. there’s nothing to be excited about. i’m only excited because my thoughts are filled with you. OH NO… i’m such a weakling!!!!! barely a day and i’ve gone back on my word. haha shit!

glee!

Naked On A Jet Plane
(Lyrics to the tune of "Leaving On A Jet Plane")

All their clothes are off, they’re ready to go.
The stewardess walks in through the door.
They say they’ve spilled their coffee, let it dry.

Well, I booked my ticket on Southwest.
But then I saw the pilot’s chest.
They’ve stripped down to their skivies when they fly.

So fly me and strip for me
It’s a nightmare trip for me.
Close the cockpit door before you go.

Cause their naked on a jet plane.
Don’t know when I will fly again.
Don’t let your undies show.

Southwest fired them for their stupid prank.
I wondered just how much they drank.
Just one more beer they wouldn’t wear a thing.

First the pilot’s drunk and then he’s nude.
And then they feed us crappy food.
In first class you can see their ding-a-ling.

So, fly me and strip for me.
It’s a nightmare trip for me.
Close the cockpit door before you go.

Cause their naked on a jet plane.
I don’t know when I will fly again.

Naked on a jet plane.
I don’t know when I will fly again.

Naked on a jet plane.
I don’t know when I will fly again.

Don’t let your undies show.

brand new day!

ACHAR!!!!!

 

over the long weekend, i’ve had time to sieve things through, reflect and decided to implement things.

 

i think i’m letting go. for once, i hope i’m not bullshitting myself this time.

 

no way am i going to cry over him – as long as he stays on his correct path, the path i want him to go. i hope u can accomplish this, my handsome boy. i will always support you whatever you do. JUST DO THE RIGHT THING!!!!

 

better things to fret about in life than fretting over "oh gosh.. does he love me? will he love me?" lol. looking at this sentence, i feel like laughing. but hopefully i won’t repeat mushy blog posts for a long time. it’s been so long, it’s tiring! free love is perhaps the best thing for me right now. LET ME BE FREE! FREEDOM FIGHTER! i’m still young, youthful, firm. LOL. i should be able to do whatever i want, without being tied down to anyone or anything. ain’t it? HA! okok i think sometimes i’m still resistant.

 

thou shalt. thou shallt.

 

i bought my nds lite! wee~ well not really happy about the purchase. it isn’t perfect, but then again, it’s a second hand piece. so be happy. i’ll probably get tired of it after a while since i’m not such a game-crazy person. maple story only lasted me A DAY. cool hor? haha..

 

i hope i can SMILE Ü once again! not that i haven’t smiled for a long time, i want to smile heartily, knowing i’m smiling from the bottom of my heart and not smiling when in fact i don’t feel too good.