it’s over!

finally, exams are over.. it’s been three days. and i haven’t been doing much… just relaxing, eating, sleeping, reading, hanging out with friends… that’s about it. tomorrow, i shall need to be productive and complete whatever stuff i owe people.

 

before i even start my holidays proper, i’m already near-broke.

 

even as my exam ends… i have new problems looming. concert is in 10 days. and i have a solo. and…….. i totally suck at it. i wish i don’t have to play this piece at all!! i hate it!!!!!! yucks.. wonderful piece, but i had to spoil it. how do i strengthen my lips in just… a week?! sigh… really felt like crying when he just had to repeat over and over again that particular portion. shucks…

 

jo’s leaving for usa very very soon.. i’ll miss u my dear!!! pls bring me lotsa sand!!! hahaha 😛

 

so many things to do, so little resources.

shittttt and a wee!

喵你生日快乐！

happy birthday xiao qiu miao!

u are so screwed

no, I AM SO SCREWED!!!!!

 

i’m going for my exam in like 2 hours and I AM SO FUCKING ILL PREPARED!!!!! not that i didn’t study. i studied!!! over a course of 5 days… spread over a whole month. and the last time i looked at my notes prior to yesterday, was last week. and i don’t know whatever happened to my memory.

 

oh well… i have another 30 mins before i’m suppose to go out. but… somehow i can’t stay still. i’m panicking. hell, i’m gonna take the same paper next year again. better work hard at earning some money to pay for the extra subject.

 

shucks. it’s all my fault. who can i blame but myself?

 

but still…. i wish i can just get like 34 marks. so at least i can pass. there can be miracles, when u believe. i want to believe, but i know miracles don’t happen in such circumstances when ur brain has got nothing in it and u’re going for an exam in an empty nutshell state.

 

so i shall pray to kuan yin… KUAN YIN PU SA! please bless me with exceptional crapping skills so that i can bluff my way through the answer and still pass!!!

i feel like crap

in fact i think i’m close to being one.

 

i feel so demoralised, so depressed just because…. i don’t think i have a brain. god probably gave me boobs for brains since i have them in abundance. gosh… i can’t even think i feel that i’m so stupid!!! really… what’s the use of studying. what’s the use of it all? perhaps i expect too much. i don’t know. it’s just not logical. whenever i slog like crazy for this particular subject… and i always walk into the examination hall in confidence – i end up exiting the examination hall holding back my tears, my heart pounding. well the thing is… whenever i put in a lot of effort into a particular subject, i fail. but when i don’t put in as much effort, i pass easily. sometimes i even get a 2nd upper mark. it’s just totally absurd. how can anything like this happen? i can’t just don’t care and not study.. can i? then i’ll be worrying about failing. but when ………. wtf. nothing ever goes right!!!!!! fuck u ky, fuck u!!! u are so stupid!!!!!!!!!

 

maybe i should just give up studying (and throwing away tens of thousands spent on this fuckin degree already) and go sell egg tarts. i wonder how many egg tarts do i have to sell before i can get myself a car. a kia. probably… 10 years?

 

for the record, i don’t even know how to bake an egg tart.

 

maybe i should just go for plastic surgery turn myself into a living barbie doll. then i can carry on living life as a dumb bimbo… like a walking mannequin. like a fuckin vase. like a blow up doll. like…………. someone who doesn’t need to use her brains.

 

fuck! and i thought i was intelligent. whatever happened to my intelligence, i have no idea. i only know now i don’t seem to have a brain. knock my head someone, u’ll either:

1. notice it’s got no sound cos it’s godamn dense   or

2. listen to the reverbs going on inside my skill cos my brain is as small as a pea. pea brain.

 

if we only use up 20% of our brains… what’s 20% of a pea? near to nothing. no wonder i can’t seem to remember ANYTHING.

 

besides losing my memory, i have lost my ability to communicate, my ability to say intelligent jokes. i am no longer intelligent. i’m no longer witty . i’m just a….. 花盆！！！as opposed to a 花瓶.. vase. be a tai tai. OH HELLO???!!!! no one will want a tai tai like u, fucking fat ass. sob. maybe i should just kill myself. then at least i won’t need a brain since………… all i’ll be doing is floating here and there.

 

this must be retribution for scolding my student for not having a brain. see? now i don’t have a brain. i’m just like u now, my dear student. aren’t u happy? ha ha ha. how erotic. shucks. erotic? i’m even using the wrong word for the wrong reasons. i’m such a fucking dumbass.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

now u see how demoralised i am.