lol

been having quite some fun these past 3 days. lol funny. had a playful fight yesterday and my friend said "u can hit me anywhere, just don’t hit my face, my eyes!" and proceeds to cover his face with both his hands. lol cos he just went for lasik. funny the way he said it. it’s like a replica of a scene on chinese tv where some handsome guy gets into a fight and requests that his face remains untouched – of course he will often get punched in the face first. but i was good – i didn’t hit his face. wouldn’t bear to. lol.

 

ambiguity. it canbe nice, it can be tough. nice because it leaves no confirmation and you can always act on the basis that you are unsure… and tough because sometimes u don’t exactly know what the situation is and when u’re forced to make decisions, u don’t know how to carry things out. there can always be surprises huh…. but amidst this ambiguity… i feel like it’s really nice sometimes… and sometimes it gets so tough i feel like crying. i don’t even know where does the truth lie in… watever.

 

wat a lame entry. i’m going back to my fhm bar room joke book! jokes in there are really funny!!

right or wrong

i don’t know if what i’m pursuing is right or wrong…. but i guess sometimes… u’ll probably live happier when you don’t question what is right, or what is wrong…. or you don’t even question anything, or anyone at all.

 

i was and i have been quite happy just doing things as they were… until a few of my friends questioned me. then i started thinking again. well… to tell u the truth i feel really happy keeping things are they are. it’s just that now that they’ve pointed out that i might be weird in a certain sense…. i don’t know. i’m starting to think again…

 

they probably think that i’m some bimbo who doesn’t care hoots about whatever is important and just taking things as they already are. perhaps. but personally, i don’t like to be called a bimbo cuz firstly, i don’t have a hot bod. secondly, i’m not pretty.. and thirdly, i’m definitely not stupid. just very stupid when it comes to dealing with stuff using ur head rather than ur heart. 

exercising is orgasmic

 finally, after procrastinating for 6 months, i decided to go to the gym, thanks to the encouragement of adri and stin. I MADE IT TO THE GYM!!!!

 

i cycled there…. and i started weight training. i hate cardio, i seriously do. but i should start doing it. well… slowly. so i worked on my chest, my biceps, triceps…. and some other parts i don’t know what. i just tried the machines that i knew of. the equipment here work differently. so it’s a lil confusing to use…. will get used to it somehow i’m sure 😉

 

i don’t remember working on my glutes. but my glutes sure are sore as hell… and my arms? i can’t even raise it up without shakin… lol…

 

there was initial hesitation at first.. cos the gym was quite packed considering the time of the day… and at first i didn’t dare to do weights or to use any equipment.. but i guess i soon fked it and started workin out… who cares if i’m just a fat cow. well.. i had one scary moment. i was doing lat pulls and this guy who seriously looks like "the rock" came and started standing there. suppose to share the machine. and another fit indian guy was standing behind me. so…. i just continued. just that i did it real fast and handed it back to the rock. lol. can u imagine they’re both like just lookin at u train? intimidating.

 

okay… so why is exercising orgasmic? when i started my first set…. i felt this surge of i don’t know…. hormones? no,  i didn’t get horny lifting weights. hmmm it’s got this feel good factor. it’s as if all your acu points come unblocked and u feel really free… that sorta feeling. it just makes me wanna go "ahhhhh" lol.

 

alritey.. i’ll try to make it an effort to exercise often! yippee!

confessions of a wife

not an ordinary one – but one who went through the wedding with a sword bearing ceremony.

 

it must be so cool to go through such a kinda wedding. haha but u probably need to be really pretty or somethin. well then again, not really true. haha…

 

and being a wife to such a man is not easy. u need to entertain and project urself as an atas and eloquent person. when u meet people, you must remember that you are just a companion. a vase. yet u, as a vase, need to speak cos if u don’t, people might think u’re stuck-up. but if you speak too much, people might think u talk too much. but then again, if you speak, u must speak the right words and you probably need to speak some army jargon. how tough it is – i can never imagine. before a function, u have to get frantic and source for clothes – unique ones so that no one will be wearing the same dress as u – or it’d be embarassing!

 

now… u know, it isn’t easy to be… an 0fficer’s wife.

 

 

don’t get me wrong… for i’m not one. might never be one too. perhaps they’re brutal in bed. they’ll be dominant. or perhaps they’ll be submissive cos they’ve always been dominant in camp. hahahaha… nah. i was at this event helping out… and it happened to be an event for them wives. and i overheard them talking in the restrooms. so yeah… now i know their.. hardship. man these dua liaps must be rich – cos they’re all carrying LV bags. well, not all… but most of them looked like tai tais. though some really looked like housewives. unkempt hair, old fashioned clothes… not dressed up. but majority are pretty!

 

today, i’ll have to talk to her. try to sorten things out… before our relationship gets stale. i fear confrontation… but i guess it’s time i stopped running away and start facing consequences and making things right.

nasty

the whole world can doubt me, but you can’t. why? precisely cos we shared the same food, we breathed the same air, we walked the same path, we slept the same bed, we bed the same man for 10 months. simply because u are my mum.

 

what u said felt like a thousand, a million, spears into my heart. do you realise the consequences of your words? u don’t knw the severity of it. but to think u can judge me because of a single thing i did to your sister, you put me down this way. how could u? i will never do anything like this to u. u know me. or do you not?

 

sometimes i feel bad that i keep complaining to you how much i hate working for ur sister, how much i hate this home, how much i want to run away and never come back so that i can run away from ur sister. but i know u feel bad too. but. why do you have such a sister who is so rude and has no respect for anyone in her eyes? can u stop speaking up for her because she is already 50 years old and she should be shown some lesson as to how to respect people. you know that she is rude. stop covering up for her. worse.. insult me so that ur sister looks better.

 

i don’t hate u. i can never hate u. but it will be difficult to erase those words you said last night. 

yesterday, is history.

i shall stop singing "yesterday once more"…

 

for….

 

the past is another country, they do things differently there 

 

shall look ahead and forward to the future. things will definitely get better and brighter!

 

though i’m still running away from a certain someone. that person’s call number display sends chills down my spine and my get hot headed for no apparent reason upon hearing the person’s voice. oh no here it comes again!!!

can’t get u out of my head

NOTHING IS GOING TO COME OUT OF THIS U FOOL!!!! *singing to "put the lime in ur coke u nut"*

 

i just sent him a super retarded sms. ha ha ha. but damn who cares. at least i feel better after sending him that sms. lol. oh warn me, WARN ME PLEASE! i’ve been warned enough and i know the danger i’m putting myself in – yet…. i’m doing it willingly. wth!!!!

 

urgh. going for classes soon! marinated some chicken for dinner… lotsa vinegar. wonder if it’ll taste good. i really wanna stop working for her man…. i have no time. NO TIME!

 

i’m adding a greece trip and diving to my wishlist. lol as if i have alot of money that i can save… well i’ll try. greece trip will be a smash! provided the right people go .. lol. 

romantic date

 i saw nini today. i saw her twice! first was at amk hub. she said she’ll ask me out for choco fondue one of these days.

 

8:30pm, we went for choco fondue. lol i never knew her "one of these days" to be "later in the day" 😛

 

anyway, it was very nice…. despite my feeling guilty. hahaha… sinful meal. but with sins comes happiness at times. lol. cheaterbug!

 

i don’t know why whenever my boss calls me i get worked up like almost immediately. i’m fine with it when it isn’t about work. but once she mentions work, my blood pressure rises immediately. and i can almost erupt at that instance. i just snap at everything she says. it’s weird the kind of reaction i have towards her though she treats me really well.. she’s just a menace when it comes to work. lol… i somehow feel a sense of resentment towards her amidst the level of admiration i have over her. i’m such a screwed person. can’t even get my emotions right.

 

i still love to hear ur laughter. haha…

i just had to…

wait.

 

it’s like if u tell me of a plan, i will wait till that plan is confirmed. no point telling me about it and asking me to carry on with my activities… i won’t be able to concentrate. u just love spontaneity don’t u… i don’t like it. i like to have plans.

 

relaxing sunday it is today…. yesterday, i worked. as usual, couldn’t fix anything. so sick of my job. lol… and quitting is not an option. oh well.. sometimes i’m made to work not so much because i need to get somethingdone… but i feel it’s because she feels lonely and just wants someone to be with her.  so….. i continue working for her. sometimes it’s difficult to turn away from what your heart tells u though you know u’ll be happier listening to your brain.

 

oh well.. this must be yet another meaningless post. there’s close to nothing in my brain… just that i’m just waiting here like a stupid fool, waiting for him to sms me. it seems like i’ve not snapped out of it completely. ever since he introduced "way back into love" to me… the song + him have been stuck in my head. annoying. now things with him is as if we’re together yet we’re not. how very ambiguous. oh, and SPONTANEOUS!

 

where’s my mooncake?? u promised me mooncakes from raffles hotel! i’m still waiting lehhh…

 

u know what? i realised my english is getting very bad. i can’t even type whole sentences correctly anymore. my structure is screwed, my vocab is screwed, so is my grammer and my spelling. damn it. do i reall yhave to start doing english exercises again??!!! omg… what can i do to improve myself? MANY THINGS. just that i’m lazy.

 

i’m now saving to get a timbuk2 bag, saving for pulau tinggi, saving for possible winsurfing lessons, saving for uk. haha that’s a huge wishlist isn’t it? pity my birthday’s over.

 

yeah i signed up for an introductory ws workshop. haha.. like finally, after contemplating for 2 years, decided to give it a try. 🙂 if i like it, i’ll proceed on to going for lessons… but i guess i still have this fear of falling into the sea. haha….

 

back to school!!!!!

for once in my life, i’m thanking god it’s monday tomorrow!

 

lol… going back to school! ha ha ha…. not that i love school but it’s just that i’ve spent my holidays working like a dog… i’ve began to treasure school life! it’s so much easier to study than work… 6 more units left. i guess i can still save myself from a low classification if i work really really hard…. right? speaking of which……… lol i haven’t even touched my assignment which is due on wednesday.

 

lately, i feel kinda sad. i don’t know why, but cray and quek is always picking on me!!! especially cray. goodness. it’s so irritating and annoying. lol… they said that i’m really slow now. like in terms of response… why????? i have no idea. i don’t feel good that i’m slow too. lol.

 

anyway.. i don’t think i have much to blog about. but i bought 2 cheap nice shoes! retail therapy is nice. it is even nicer when u get cheap nice buys. and all the more better when u have huge feet and u’re still able to get nice shoes ur size!!!! haha.. why did god make me this way… i’m big in every possible way. big hands, big feet. big watever. everywhere. lol….

 

i’m so tired… reached home at 6:30am… slept for like 3 hours and i went out till now….. am gonna retire soon.