:(

i think he’s just flirting with me. haaa and i allow myself to be affected by some "harmless" flirting. omg i am so silly. i feed on compliments, i really do. that’s my weakest point man… anyway… new plans comin up! the pot is brewin…

 

lol. kayaking pot.

 

i’m really learning a lot of new things on my job. i know now how to stream live events. it’s some kinda cool really…. but still tryin to tune it.. so……. *white hair comin out*

 

………

 

and i’ll continue hitting my head so that a certain someone will be shoved out

born to be pushed around

am i? sometimes i think i really am. if one is nice to me, it’s like i give my all to that person. that’s how silly and vulnerable i am. even when i am mistreated, i swallow it all down and just continue being nice to the person, because the person is nice to me.

 

that’s how i fell into jason’s trap…. urgh. stop sweet talking me jason! i can’t tolerate it….. it drives me crazy!

 

and that’s how i’m feeling how i am now – irritated and annoyed. i went shopping with someone today… and she just wants to get somethjing for me – yes it’s her kind intentions. but the process was really… painful and uncomfortable. imagine. u are a plus sized girl and there are obviously not clothes in far east plaza other than men’s t-shirts. so… someone just pulls u into almost every shop and announces "do you have any clothes for her? i need a large large large that kinda large so she can fit in". first FUCK. second fuck, she announces "it’s so difficult to get clothes for her! she can’t get any clothes! we’ve been to so many shops and they don’t have her size!" fuck. i really felt like asking her to shut up. cna’t u be like a lil low profile or somethin? i really wished i was invisible. then.. we went to this shop. flamboyant clothes but anyway… i got forced to try on a piece of clothing. outside, she was talkin to the owner and the owner said something like plus sized clothes but he said it quietly. and she said,"don’t need to say it so quietly. she doesn’t mind people calling her fat". like fuck. would u mind if i said.. .hey u are so old. or… hey… u have so much pimples. would anyone like that? obviously no?!! even when people has claled u fat for the past 20 years, you will never love or get comfortable with people calling u fat.

 

i am so pissed off. urgh. only now. when i think about what has happened the whole day.

relaxed!

finally… 2 weeks into work, i feel relaxed! well most of the difficult stuff have been done, though i’m sure there are more challenges awaiting me. so.. today is wednesday, ladies’ nite. therefore! i decided to stay over and my aunt brought me to relax! lol we went to Margarita’s – a Mexican restaurant. OMG. It’s REALLY NICE!!! firstly, the margaritas were splendid! but their mango marg is better than strawberry marg – but in any way, it is way better than NYNY! hhaa we had some kinda beef and burrito wrap i guess.. dunno wat’s that. and this spicy chicken fillet… really really ncie!!! i totally love the food there. but i didn’t overeat. i ate til i’m like 99% full! lol still got space…. so we went to Oh Deli’s – it’s actualy an organic supermart. went to get free food samples – chocolates, our desert. LOL cheapskate. hahaha but mmmmmm the chocolates are pretty interesting. 75% chocolate with crunchy cocoa nibs. very refreshing!

 

after that, went to a stroll at the beach. MAN… wat a romantic nite! well.. right company, wrong gender. hehehe…

 

suddenly someone just threw a bomb at us – someone from school. i don’t know how to deal with it, but i’m determined to make it a better club than it was. this is the last time to prove ourselves! BIRD!! heard that?! let’s fight alongside each other. let’s be competent in all areas!

 

alrite time to sleep. day starts at 8am tml! ciao!

foot paddings

why do we wear shoes anyway, given that our feet’s soles provide much more friction than the "modern" soles of shoes nowadays. lol they probably just keep ur feet from getting dirty and to make ur butt look sexy – high heels, that is.

 

i’ve been so busy lately!!!! i just started work with my aunt.. suppose to do some unknown job scope that is not web based but somehow.. i ended up as a flash designer. and u know how much i suck at action script!!!!! OMG! but it’s pretty challenging.. end of the day, u feel satisfied amidst all those stress. lol. how inspiring!

 

i thought i had a lot to blog about. what is happening now huh??!! i can’t even think about the things i want to blog about. forget it.

 

ohh… i realised i have some pretty nice friends.

 

some friends, whom i am not close with, helped me without hesitation when i needed. that’s very nice of them really.. thank u janson, alan and cailing!

 

i hve this special friend too…Birdie, that’s u. lol… Birdie! To tell u the truth… I’ve never gone through so much ups and downs with any friend before. Of course in friendships, there are ups and downs… but for me, I have never really gone through any ups and downs with my close friends. don’t know why. but with this BIRD, it’s very different. It’s so easy to forgive her… I guess her friendship means a lot to me. Lol… but anyways, I’m glad we both came out of the storms very much alive, and even closer. I don’t ever regret having such a friend.

gizmo idiot

if there are laggards, then my dad would be the biggest laggard.

 

i wonder why aren’t there idiot-proof phones out there! my dad rite….. aiya don’t wanna talk about it. teaching him how to use a phone makes my blood boil.

 

know what? i have two perfectly rounded bruise marks near my armpits! i don’t know how did i get them man… my dad says "must be ur grandma!" it’s not what he said that matters.. it’s how he said it. he looked seriously scared.

 

i’m tryin to go veg. but it’s proving hard!!!!