Talking about yeah right.

but then again… education doesn’t make a dense person any less dense. and people who don’t go through high levels of learning are not necesarily dense. so what is the point??!!! why am i acting like this? like this??!!!

Quote

yeah right.

often, we deny it. but hey, face up to reality. education IS imporant in a relationship. a bit of wealth won’t hurt either. i guess most of us hide behind masks, trying to be the sweet little girl every guy wants. understanding, sweet, nice. and we try not to reject people who are lower in educational standards than ours. but i think education makes a person with a bit of depth. if a partner has got a degree and the other has only completed her secondary school education, these two partners would be having different mindsets. unless he/she is well read, or they wouldn’t be able to have conversations that both will find logical and understandable. one of them will not be able to see the other’s point of view, conflicts will arise. so don’t u get it? education is really important.

argh that cute little brat

my 4 year old cousin is back in singapore for cny. she’s from hongkong. but they say she’s also singaporean. i’m confused. her dad’s singaporean, but hk pr. so… watever.

 

anyway, she’s really bright. at the age of four, she knows the word "struggle". funny thing is, being a hongkonger, their national language is cantonese. but she doesn’t know cantonese. only "gong hei fatt choy" – which comes in handy this time of the year. ahha. she’s bilingual at the moment. speaks her chinese like a chinese national (from really mainland china) and speaks her english with an american accent. that’s cos she schools in an international school. but she’s rather mean. one of the meanest and most annoying kid i’ve ever come across. the first child i ever dislike. i don’t tease her to make her happy, nor do i give in to her. cos i don’t want to. she’s really mean. pushed other children around, punches them, climbs up and down. the worst part is, she likes to play really rough. when she doesn’t get the things she wants, her face turns menacing. she scratches you. today, she scratched me cos i didn’t wanna hand her the ball. squeezed my hand really hard. and i squeezed her back. she’s such a haughty girl. till she cried. i don’t give hoots about her. i think she really needs to be taught in that aspect. the cute and unthinkable thing about her is that she thinks too much like an adult. i’d say she acts like a 7 year old though she is only 4. knows what clothes and hairstyles she wants. demands people to act according to what she wants, like a boss, like a princess. her favourite phrase? "i do not need you to help me. i can do it myself. thank you" wow. too strong a character. i don’t like. bleh.

 

dislike : like ==> 7:3

 

but she’s by far the brightest kid i’ve ever come across.

 

as i turn a year older each year, my earnings during cny dwindles. that’s just an obvious sign of.. ageing. shucks.

yeah right.

often, we deny it. but hey, face up to reality. education IS imporant in a relationship. a bit of wealth won’t hurt either. i guess most of us hide behind masks, trying to be the sweet little girl every guy wants. understanding, sweet, nice. and we try not to reject people who are lower in educational standards than ours. but i think education makes a person with a bit of depth. if a partner has got a degree and the other has only completed her secondary school education, these two partners would be having different mindsets. unless he/she is well read, or they wouldn’t be able to have conversations that both will find logical and understandable. one of them will not be able to see the other’s point of view, conflicts will arise. so don’t u get it? education is really important.

nothin

hm. i think he blocked me from msn. congratulations.

bastard.not.

i used to think he was a bastard for degrading girls, at least that was how i felt. but things changed, it seemed, once i knew he had a girlfriend. i saw another side of him, one that was affectionate and sensitive. i saw how he handled with his girl’s bag, how he had that look in his eyes. it was that different side of him which he kept covered from normal impressions of him, from people like me. if i had seen this side of him, i wouldn’t have loathed him so bad, when it comes to his character triats. it’s nice to know he has this side of him. good. but come to think of it, he wasn’t that bad. in times of need, he’ll help you in whatever possible ways within his means. he treats his friends very nicely. but i don’t know why, he keeps talking about making out with each and every pretty thing we come across – it makes me feel like he’s degrading us girls. since when had we became just statues of desires void of independent feelings and not treated as a single human beings?

 

in just 2 weeks, my poly mate will be flying to adelaide to pursue her degree. i wish her good luck. though we live just 10 minutes walk away, i’m ashamed to say i’m not really close to her, despite our geographical closeness. oh well…. but she’s a really sweet girl. studies will take her away from this country she loved so much and us singaporean friends and she has been really sweet giving out letters and wonderful gifts while she’s still here. done so much to preserve friendships, she deserves a hard pat on her back.

finally, i got my birkenstocks!

after a year of awaiting, i finally got a pair of birkenstocks. got a pair of papillio floridas. sadly. my dream one was this VIRGIN WHISPER WHITE. but sad.. they dont have it. i’ll save some more money and finally get it!! so… for the sake of dear CNY, i got the FLOWER STITCH SUNLIGHT. which is not too bad either. though i would have luved to have bought the virgin whisper white 😦 sob. anyways… i have to go back to the shop tomorrow. silly me, bought a size bigger. argh. singaporeans are so rich. the shop was crowded. and this girl beside me, it was as it she was squeezing all her savings to get a pair of birks. she said "die la.. no more money. nvm la… borrow lor" i was like… god. why’s this happening. i used up all my windfall too. hahaha.. i think when i get my pay.. for the website i’ll go get the virgin whisper. kekeke.

 

anyways, went out with my poly mates to catch memoirs of a geisha. aww.. it wasn’t up to my expectations. i think they shouldn’t have used michelle yeoh as mameha. yes she’s very pretty but her face is kinda angular to be japanese. and also her features are rather caucasian like. as for zhang ziyi.. she looks fine i guess. she’s still passable. and gong li is just too cheena. i think her role is like a carafe role. anyone could have done it. i guess it’s because of these 3 a-list asian actresses that manage to keep them in the box office. story wise, of course it wasn’t as good as the book. i was prepared for that. but i still didn’t think geishas look that way. they didn’t really portray as really elegant geishas though.. i dont know. i thought it was more traditional to not show teeth when they smile? i dont know. it’s just subjective. as for the storyline, i felt there were a number of gaps that didn’t link the story up together. and the speech was really bad. not as in their language but their dialogue. it was so scattered. oh well, it aint easy to make a film.

the soup is too salty

that’s zhang ziyi for u, the rising asian star in hollywood. but it has got nothing to do with my post today. i’m just eager to go watch memoirs of a geisha. and heather is taking like forever to reply me 😦

 

exams are just round the corner. mock’s in march, exam’s in may. shucks. and as we were sitting in lecture today, sharel and i began to panic. scary. so many things to cover and we are like so far away from what we have to cover for the exams. eeks.

 

i hope the amethyst crystal beads will give me some spiritual healing. omg omg omg.

what am i to do about u… tell me.

yesterday i told him that it takes two hands to clap.. and i’m not willing to touch his hand yet… i am not aware of the consequences of that sentence… and i guess, i do not want to know what will happen after i’ve said that. sigh. help me. i’m dying of a guilty conscience – he blames me. prolly i’ll receive bad karma in the next relationship. but well………………….  this is life is it?

 

on the lighter side of things, i saw this cool chopper at my friend’s place. it’s a bicycle la.. but really coool. aha.

 

perplexed

after being at least 20 years into humanity, i feel ashamed to say, i still quite can not comprehend the meaning behind a relationship. what is the use of a relationship? i understand that love makes the world go round. but why can’t i just stick to the believe that at the moment, i still love myself and i have yet opened my heart to love another person?

 

being in and out of various relationships, i suppose one might mistake me as someone very experienced in the field of love. but i’m sorry to say.. being into various relationships did not teach me anything. maybe they did, just that i didn’t reflect, or…. i’m not really in a good spot to reflect on things that i’ve done. it takes a lot to finally open your heart to someone. and when u do, that person slams it down and all is gone, broken pieces lying around. u crumble. and it’s not easy to let another person come in and build that foundation it once stood strong before. it is really not easy to love someone, much less let the words "i love u" come out of my mouth so easily.

 

i would say… i’m at the stage where i’m still searching for myself. most of the time i don’t even know who am i, what kind of person am i, and what do i want in life. what’s my purpose in live and why am i here…. that’s why i don’t want to bother myself in thinking what does HE want in life, how do i make HIM happier and so on…. i dont know…. i’m just not prepared.. can’t i be more involved in building up foundations in my life than clinging the whole meaning of life on some guy? why must the general concept be that one should live solely for a relationship? why can’t i make this relationship that of being with my family or my dog?

 

i think life is certainly more than being in love with someone. although i admit being in love is a wonderful thing. i know i’m contradicting. but i dont know what exactly being in love is. i think i’ve gone there, or gone somewhere there, but it didn’t last. back to where i began, love is a wonderful thing. but surely there must be something else for us to look forward to other than being in love? doesn’t the things that can be found in their uttermost nakedness, like the sun, the moon, the stars, the universe, don’t they portray the most beautiful sense of love at all? the calmness.. they’re all so vulnerable. and in all their greatness… they don’t care who or what u are, and even what u think. they’re just there, and we take them for granted. sigh…

 

i hope he will just pick himself up and live. there are better things in life than to close urself in a cage u know u can free urself from.

The past is a foreign country; they do things differently there.

2005 has alas come to an end. all in all, 2005 ended quite well, with many happy beginnings, especially in friendship, and development of my interest, that is, in the media. had quite a number of projects that earned me some income, and i’m happy with that. thankful for the good friends that i’ve made, the new friendships that have formed in the year of 2005 and also grateful that i had wonderful clients who leave me to do whatever i like. absolutely sweet. all in all, 2005 had been a good year. though it hadnt been smooth in my personal relationships like family and bgf… i do hope things will change this year. and that people will be happier this year.

 

now that the new year has begun… we ought to make resolutions. and something interesting to note, my friend’s new year resolution : "stop making any more resolutions". that’s pretty cool aint it? i begin to loathe the idea of making resolutions since i never manage to achieve my goals. but that’s laziness on my part. i need to push myself. i know it, yet i don’t act upon it. it’s crazy, isn’t it. yeah.. i need to push myself, i really need to. oh god… my new year resolutions, i suppose, would be…

1. to lose 10 kgs this year (all my life i’ve been wishing this)…
    by going gym at least 3 times a week 

2. to be more hardworking

    by fulfilling my 25 hours of developing my interest and 15 hours of studying a week

3. to keep my room tidy at all times

    by packing what i need for school the day before so i can have time to tidy up my stuff, throw my bag    into places where i cannot see

4. to stop being late for classes

    by waking up early and not sit down in front of the fan stoning for 30 mins after bath

5. to get out of screensaver mode

    this one, i have no idea how i can make it happen.. but i’ll study into it.

 

any idea what’s screensaver mode? it’s a lingo someone uses on me. most of the time my brain is just -blank- and.. i just stare into space. but thank god i wont do that when i’m talking. but when i’m typing, it’s prolly a different story. so u see… my resolutions are few, but difficult to achieve. firstly, look. i just wrote out my time chart. 25 hours and 15 hours that makes 40 hours a week. a week has got 168 hours only.

168 – 40 = 128 hours

128 hours left for day time, which consists of meals, school and my social life, and of course. sleep.

and if i divide it by 7, i’ll get approx 16 hours a day for the above activities. school take up like 8 hours. and that means.. i prolly can only sleep like 6 hours. this is what i call no life. but of course, every day has got different timings as to what i must do… so prolly that sounds easier. whatever it is…… i gotta push myself!

 

as for losing weight, since i’ve been making such a resolution for as long as i can remember, better lose my 10 kg of lard before i turn 21! and before i turn 22, i better lose another 10 kg more. now u know how heavy i am. i guess.. 10kg a year isn’t too difficult? but it’s difficult for me. i have this habit of binge eating, whom i guess friends around me would have noticed. when i see food, i turn into a pig. after i’ve eaten, i feel like "god, did i really eat that? how sinful!" and i smile. goodness gracious. so u see how difficult it would be for me? moreover… know what’s my goal to lose weight? so i can buy cheap clothes and look like jLo. hahaha. actually.. i dont know what’s my reason to lose weight. but…. i know chances of me getting a job will be higher if i lose weight by graduation. there are so many disadvantages of being oversized. most of us deny, but deep down we all know it. ahh.. the forgotten voices of the big and beautiful 😛

 

the rest are faily simple. i’m sure i’ll be able to complete it.

 

yup.. that’s about it. cheers to 2006!